Eyes of an Angel Read online

  Within minutes, a procession of faces, male and female, began parading before me. After several had passed, the face of an attractive young woman appeared. Struck by her beauty, I thought to myself, “Hmm, pretty.” To my surprise, the moment the thought formed in my mind, a smile spread across her face. Batting her long eyelashes, she beamed with delight. Completely surprised, I exclaimed, “Jesus, she heard me!” In an instant, the vision was gone, and I opened my eyes.

  I didn't realize I had blurted these words out loud until a guy sitting in front of me turned around and said, “What?”

  Embarrassed, I mumbled a feeble apology.

  For some reason, I had always assumed that the beings I saw couldn't hear or communicate with me. It was a surprise to discover they could do both. Another bridge had been crossed. The journey was becoming even more interesting.

  As I continued to read and learn, I occasionally came across new spiritual concepts I had difficulty believing or accepting. One of these notions was the suggestion that animals had souls and that they, too, could be found in many of the spirit realms. During a previous seminar at the Institute, Robert Monroe spoke of being visited by a couple of his house cats that had passed on. I had also read books on shamanism that often referred to “power animals.” These were the spirits of animals who, in much the same manner as spirit guides, dedicated themselves to the guidance and protection of humans. Refusing to allow for even the possibility of such a concept, I had always considered this some sort of uneducated primitive myth.

  Most nights, I read for an hour or two before falling sleep. One night, I had become so engrossed in a book that I kept reading into the wee hours of the morning. As I read, a peculiar feeling came over me. It felt like someone was in the room watching me. Setting the book aside, I glanced around, but noticed nothing out of place. I returned to my reading, but couldn't shake the persistent sensation. It was becoming more powerful and distracting. Putting the book down, I again scanned the room. This time, my attention caught something moving just outside the door.

  Floating in the doorway, two feet above the floor was a round, swirling mass of energy the size of a basketball. The iridescent globe seemed to be made up of millions of small particles, orange and black in color. I had the impression that I was seeing something at a molecular level.

  I watched as the shimmering sphere expanded, spreading outward from the center until it took the shape of a huge spotted leopard. Standing in profile 20 feet away from me in the doorway, the cat was spectacular. It was entirely real and alive. I could hear and see it breathing, its belly moving with each breath. Slowly it turned its head in my direction. When our eyes met, an instant flash of familiarity swept through me. A warm vibration swirled in my chest.

  The leopard's beautiful eyes seemed to stare directly into my soul. I felt I had known this spirit for an eternity. Captivated by its gaze, I became immersed in the memories of its love and protection. Finally turning its head away, the majestic beast promptly dissolved into millions of multicolored molecules, and then abruptly disappeared.

  My throat felt dry. I was having trouble breathing. I was wide-awake and yet, right in front of me a ball of molecules had appeared, turned into a leopard, and then disappeared. It was real in every sense. I had heard it breathing. I could even smell it.

  Shakily, I got out of bed and headed cautiously to the doorway. I wanted to be sure of my own senses. This had not been an out-of-body experience. I had watched all of this with my own physical eyes, yet I was still having trouble believing it. I stood in the doorway where the leopard had materialized. The unmistakable, musky odor of the big cat lingered, but all other remnants of its visit had disappeared. Something magical had just happened and I felt truly blessed. Why had this beautiful animal visited me? What was the connection that I felt? Was the shamanic belief true? Could this be my power animal? I lay awake for hours, pondering it all.

  For weeks following the visitation, I often found myself reliving it. It was difficult to pass through my bedroom doorway without thinking about the leopard, re-experiencing its mesmerizing eyes, or feeling that vibration in my chest.

  About a month after the incident, I had another strange experience. One night, I snapped awake with a falling sensation in the pit of my stomach. It felt as though I had just returned from an excursion, but I had no idea from where. Vibrations still coursed through my body so I prepared myself for another adventure.

  Trying to decide on a destination, I floated to the ceiling. Curious as to where I had been, I concluded that although my conscious mind didn't know, my subconscious could probably return me to the same place. I decided to go with the flow, and almost instantly I felt a shift and found myself floating in an unfamiliar room in what looked like the lower level of a two-story home. There was nobody around, but I could hear a commotion on the upper floor. Deciding to check it out, I slid up through the floor into the next level. Just as my head and shoulders began to pull through the carpet, I was startled by the hiss of a cat and the sensation of something slashing through my face. If I had been wearing pants, I'm sure they would have been soiled. I had come up into the hallway right beside where a cat was sitting. As soon as it saw me, it tried to claw a chunk out of me.

  Gathering my courage, I floated up to the ceiling high above the hissing ball of fur. In terror, it finally tore out of the hallway and down the stairs like it had seen a ghost. I didn't know whether to feel good about it or bad. This was the first living animal I had encountered while out-of-body. I couldn't believe the poor little creature had seen me. I had scared the crap out of it, and it returned the favor.

  When I finally got my wits about me, I noticed an open door at the end of a hallway. The light was on, and I could hear the sound of giggling kids. Floating through the doorway, I rose up to a corner of the ceiling. Below, four young boys, about ten years old, were having a great time jumping on the bed, batting each other with pillows. This seemed to be an adult's bedroom. Their parents obviously away, the boys were taking advantage of it.

  As I watched their amusing high jinks, one of the boys stopped dead in his tracks, looking up in my direction. His mouth fell open. He stood there, frozen. I was astounded that he could see me! When a couple of the other boys stopped to look, I decided to make my exit. I thought of returning to my body and, in an instant, I was back in my bed.

  I didn't think I would be trying that again soon. Whether or not my subconscious had taken me back to where I was previously, I didn't know, but it didn't seem likely. Somehow, I had gone off course. I wondered why the boy had been able to see me. I hoped I hadn't been responsible for scaring the poor kid into therapy. I couldn't help but laugh, thinking of the wild story the boys would be telling when their parents got home. Some guy in blue jockey shorts floating around the ceiling isn't the type of report most parents want to hear.

  As time wore on, I became more familiar with the feeling and vibration of my spirit guides. Although my life had become extremely busy, I tried to spend at least a few minutes each day communicating or attempting to make contact. Depending on my level of stress and ability to relax, sometimes I felt their presence and sometimes I didn't.

  One night I awoke at about 3 A.M. with the familiar high-pitched tone in my ears. I knew that if I could keep from falling asleep, it would be a good opportunity to leave my body. Within just a few minutes my mind calmed and I dropped through the threshold into superconsciousness. Before long a wave of energy flooded the top of my head and began to radiate throughout my body. Concentrating on the frequency of the vibration, I pushed the energy higher. When every molecule in my body seemed to be buzzing with electricity, I was ready to leave. With just the thought of floating, there came an abrupt surge and I lifted off the bed towards the ceiling.

  Elation momentarily overwhelmed my senses. When I regained control, I had difficulty deciding what to do. Should I fly around the house? Head out into the night sky? Perhaps I could find my way back to the beautiful park where I had met
my spirit guides. The thought had hardly registered when I felt a shift, a feeling of movement, and I was standing in a parklike setting. Sensing a familiar presence nearby, I turned in the direction of the vibration and was greeted by two smiling faces.

  “Welcome back. We're glad you could join us.” Meldor's voice was clear and strong. “We know you have many questions. Reopening awareness to your own spiritual reality can be very exciting. We are pleased to assist you in any way possible. You need only to ask.”

  I wasn't sure what I should be asking. My mind was racing. Finally, I thought of a good beginning. “Thank you for helping me,” I said. And referring to the second guide I added, “But you know, I don't know your name.”

  “In our plane of energy,” he replied, “names are not necessary. Every being has an identifiable and unique vibration. You will know us by our vibration and feeling, but if you feel more comfortable with a name, you may call me Raylon.”

  “Sometimes,” I continued, “when I try to connect with you, I'm only able to feel Meldor's vibrations. I can't seem to feel you.”

  “Raylon,” Meldor injected, “is my assistant. He is what you might call an apprentice, learning to work as a teacher. He has other assignments and is therefore not always able to accompany me.”

  I thought of another question. “Sometimes, when I'm trying to communicate with you, the volume of information is overwhelming, and yet now I can clearly hear and understand what you're saying. Why does this happen?”

  Meldor nodded his head and smiled. “Communication in the spiritual realm is more encompassing and proficient than in the physical world. Human language concepts are extremely limiting. When the consciousness of your mind is operating in this realm, it is easy for you to assimilate the complexity of the communication. However, when you are back in your body, trying to process the information through your physical brain, you may have difficulty remembering or interpreting aspects of the information. The human brain, in its present development, simply cannot handle the assimilation of so many levels of data.

  “You may have noticed this phenomenon in your dream states. While you are engaged in the dream, your mind is operating at its spiritual level. Although everything may seem entirely understandable during dream consciousness, as soon as you awaken and begin to process the data through your physical brain, the details may seem completely nonsensical.

  “To answer your question, we are communicating in this simple manner to enable you to fully process and remember the experience when you are back in your physical body. As you become more adapted to our form of communication, you will find that you are able to assimilate information at more complex levels.”

  A thought that had been nagging at me ever since my near-death several months earlier came to mind. I had heard about near-death experiences where people had gone through a review of their life. I hadn't made it to that point before being brought back from the Other Side. I had always wondered what the experience would be like.

  Reading my thoughts, Meldor was way ahead of me. “As you are beginning to realize,” he said, “when each incarnated soul returns to its origin, there is no judgment by any other entity. Each soul making the transition is assisted by loving guides in a review of their immediate past life. Very often, perfected higher beings such as the Christ Consciousness, Krishna, Mohammad or other deities and masters—depending on the individual's beliefs—will be present to offer support and guidance to the returning soul. They do not judge, nor does anyone mete out punishment of any kind. The concept of a judgmental, punishing God is purely dogmatic, a manmade construction. God does not punish. God only loves.

  “We know,” he continued, “that you have wondered about the experience of a life review, and to further your understanding, we will assist you in this aspect of the higher vibration. Nothing of energy is ever lost. All thoughts, actions, and deeds are retained to provide the basis for assessment and reflection. In a moment,” he warned, “you may feel a shift in vibration, which is necessary to engage the higher energies that hold the imprint of the life vibration.”

  I felt a burst of energy, brief motion, and then a montage of images began to play through my mind. Like fanning through the pictures in a photograph album, my life flashed before me. Everything was there: incidents, events, thoughts long forgotten, good experiences, traumatic and uncomfortable experiences—all whirled by in chronological succession. If at any time I wanted to take a closer look at a particular event, the process would stop and, instantly, like a videotape playing in my mind, I would be immersed in reliving the occasion. I was on an emotional roller coaster—the highs, the lows, the sadness and grief, along with jubilation and happiness, forever imprinted on my mind.

  I could not be sure of the amount of time the processing took. It could have been a minute or hours, I didn't know. I saw why there was no need for someone else to pass judgment on my life. Nothing was lost. I was the only judge necessary, and I would be the harshest critic. I knew when I had failed and when I had succeeded, but there was an unexpected twist.

  Not only could I relive how I had felt during any particular incident, I could also feel the pain or happiness of others whom I had affected through my words and actions. I could feel again the anger I felt as I lashed out at a playmate in the schoolyard, but I could also feel the pain and injury he felt at the humiliation. The good and the bad all passed before me. I watched the effect that even a small act of kindness could have on others. Something as small as my cheery greeting had lifted someone's spirits, and they, in turn, felt better about themselves and treated others more kindly. I was astonished at how the lives of so many people could be inadvertently affected by my actions, whether positive or negative.

  Inevitably the chronology of my life brought me back to the time of my heart attack and near-death experience. I needed to see no more. The images stopped. I felt the love and support in Meldor's embrace. I was emotionally drained, yet at the same time rejuvenated. I had a better understanding of who I was and what I needed to do.

  Meldor's soft voice interrupted my reverie. “It's time now to return to the physical vibration. There is much processing that you will need to do, and your energy needs to be restored. We are pleased to have been able to assist you.”

  In a snap, I was back in my body. Wide-awake, I rolled over in bed and glanced at my nightstand clock. It was just after 5 A.M. More than two hours had passed.

  For another hour I lay in bed, reviewing and contemplating the experience. The images of my past life were engrained in my consciousness. I would never forget them. The message was clear: it didn't matter one bit in life who won or who lost, or how rich or successful we became. When we finally pass from this world, the only thing that will matter, the only thing of lasting importance, is how we treated others along the way.

  8

  The Ultimate Mission

  When horrors plague our daily bread

  And grieving thoughts we cannot shed

  Is it then we pray our Lord to see?

  Shallow promises made in desperate plea

  Just when I thought that I'd seen and heard more than my share of strange things, I learned of a bizarre yet intriguing concept from Robert Monroe and his researchers at The Monroe Institute.

  In the late '70s Monroe had spent a great deal of time monitoring lab sessions with a gifted out-of-body explorer, Rosalind McKnight. Following numerous sessions, he became familiar with McKnight's spirit guides who often communicated through her vocal chords as she lay in an altered state. McKnight's guides began to reveal the reality of so-called “lost souls.” They explained that due to the circumstances of some people's deaths, instead of moving on to the spirit realm, occasionally some souls become trapped in a moment of their own reality. Unaware that they have died, these poor beings are incapable of escaping the confines of their own trauma or belief systems.

  Normally, when the physical body dies, the spirit passes easily into the higher vibration of the spirit world. It will be met
by spirit guides and loved ones who have previously passed on. From there, the soul is lovingly assisted and escorted into the realms of spirit, often referred to as Heaven. But in some cases, due perhaps to the extreme violence or trauma of their deaths, some souls become trapped in a reality of their own construction for varying periods of Earth time. As they don't realize they have died, they're unable to perceive the nonphysical world they now inhabit. Although their guides and loved ones may be trying desperately to get their attention to assist them home, they are unable to make the transition. Locked into the slower Earth vibration, they cannot easily escape until they realize the truth of their existence and consciously seek the Light.

  What McKnight's guides further imparted to Monroe seemed to be even more astonishing. They claimed that living human beings in an out-of-body state could be of invaluable assistance to these lost spirits. As they are still of the Earth vibration, astral travelers can be easily seen and heard by the trapped souls. Due to their lower physical vibration, living humans can gain their attention and make them aware that they have died. When these souls realize the truth of their predicament, they are then able to see and communicate with their own guides and loved ones who are waiting to help them complete the transition.

  After hundreds of hours of research with McKnight and other out-of-body explorers, Monroe mapped out the specific level of consciousness in which these lost souls could be found. Thanks to improving technologies they were able to duplicate the required brainwave frequencies through their Hemi-Sync process, allowing them to guide an out-of-body explorer into this realm. Monroe and his staff also committed themselves to developing a new program to teach what they considered the ultimate service to humanity: “Lifeline.”

  Although a bit skeptical, I was intrigued by the possibilities, and knew I had to give it a try. Calling the Institute, I registered for the first available program.