Eyes of an Angel Read online

  I had only begun to realize the scope of the changes that were taking place in my life. My explorations were becoming more and more fascinating, and I couldn't wait to see where this new freedom would take me. Even in my wildest fantasies, I could not have imagined what lay in store for me.

  4

  Expanding Horizons

  Promises of paradise, and wonders to behold

  Man-made dogma, imposed upon the fold

  But in frightened hearts there flickers still

  Desire for truth that guilt can't kill

  As time passed my obsession to learn and experience continued unabated. Reading anything paranormal that I could get my hands on, I came upon Robert Monroe's second book, Far Journeys. True to the author's style, it contained some fascinating revelations. Practically everything in the book resonated a feeling of recognition and truth for me.

  Most importantly, the book included an address for The Monroe Institute. It was a nonprofit organization that Monroe had founded to research the out-of-body phenomenon. I phoned the Institute. They promised to send me an information package, and for ten days I waited anxiously for the material to arrive.

  The Monroe Institute sounded like the answer to my prayers. They had developed successful programs to assist people achieve altered states of consciousness. Thousands of people had attended their seminars. Due to great variances in the abilities and sensitivities of each individual, the Institute would not guarantee that participants would have an out-of-body experience, but they were confident that one would not leave the program without being convinced that awareness can extend beyond the physical world.

  The establishment of the Institute near Charlottesville, Virginia, came about as a direct result of public reaction to Monroe's books, his curiosity about the phenomenon, and his abilities as a researcher. Following the success of Journeys Out of the Body, Monroe received a large volume of correspondence from all over the world. Many claimed to have had experiences similar to his, but were afraid to talk about them for fear of ridicule or concern that something might be wrong with them. Monroe's books helped people understand that out-of-body travel was something every human was capable of experiencing. It was a gift, something to cherish, not fear.

  Due to escalating interest, Monroe, along with a number of volunteers, set up a private lab to investigate the phenomenon. Out of the many letters and calls he received were a number of people who, like him, had the ability to travel out-of-body at will. With some of these people as volunteer test subjects, he and his technical team built a small lab containing a specially designed isolation chamber where participants' levels of consciousness could be monitored. Test subjects were connected to various biofeedback devices to study and map their states of relaxation and brainwave activity.

  After hundreds of hours of monitoring and testing, they found that subjects who attained out-of-body states while in the lab exhibited very similar levels of consciousness. Monroe and his assistants postulated that if they could somehow re-create these brainwave frequencies, they might be able to help others achieve an out-of-body experience.

  An accomplished audio engineer, Monroe concentrated on sound as the medium to influence the brainwaves of test subjects. He and his team spent thousands of hours experimenting with various audio tones and electronic pulses, trying to produce an effective combination of frequencies that could be fed to a subject through stereo headphones.

  Their hard work and perseverance finally paid off. Through the manipulation of a small electronic pulse known as a “binaural beat,” they were able to perfect an innovation in audio technology. The pulsing electronic signal was found to create a frequency following response in the human brain, which enabled automatic synchronization of the left and right hemispheres. Monroe was granted a patent for the process he called Hemispheric Synchronization, or simply Hemi-Sync.

  The new technology made it possible to easily move test subjects into a state of deep relaxation in which their bodies slept while their minds remained awake and alert. In this state, subjects were able to experience expanded levels of consciousness, opening the doorway to enhanced sensory perception and the ability to access an apparent sixth sense, including the out-of-body state.

  The Hemi-Sync process proved extremely successful. With the assistance of trained helpers, Monroe began to offer weeklong seminars to the public.

  The more I learned about it, the more intrigued I became. There was no doubt in my mind. This was something I had to try. Calling the Institute, I signed up for “Gateway,” their weeklong beginners' course, and the time until it started couldn't pass quickly enough.

  When the day arrived, I could hardly contain myself. At the end of a long flight, as we approached the airport in Charlottesville, I looked out over the peaceful beauty of the Blue Ridge Mountains, and something inside me clicked. It was a moment of deja vu. I had the feeling I'd been there before.

  After a 45-minute car ride, we finally drove into the parking lot at The Monroe Institute. Like hallowed ground, the understated elegance of the rustic buildings and quiet surroundings commanded reverence. A virtual Mecca for body, mind, and spirit, it was making history here. The energy was palpable. As I walked through the front entrance, I knew that my world would never be the same.

  After dropping off luggage in my room, I headed to the dining room where the other participants and instructors were gathering. The excitement was contagious. With mounting anticipation, we were all eager to get started. Once everybody had arrived, we assembled in a comfortable meeting room where the instructors began to lay out the agenda for the upcoming week. An intriguingly diverse group, we were from all over the world, including the U.S., Canada, Australia, Germany, Switzerland, and England.

  Each of the twenty participants was assigned to a specific room, which would serve as our sleeping quarters as well as our own experimental lab. The instructors referred to these rooms as CHEC units (an acronym for Controlled Holistic Environmental Chamber). With a constant supply of fresh air feeding into a climate-controlled environment, the rooms were constructed to be as comfortable and quiet as possible. When the heavy black curtain was pulled across the opening to the enclosed bed, the unit passed into total darkness. It made no difference if our eyes were open or closed, everything would be black. Each encapsulated unit, however, was also equipped with special dimmer-controlled lights for those who preferred a bit of illumination. Complete with warm blankets, tape recorders, built-in wall speakers, and stereo headphones, the rooms contained everything we would need.

  Finishing the orientation early, we headed off to bed. Our training would begin in the morning. With the speakers emitting the soft relaxing sounds of ocean surf, I quickly drifted into a deep, peaceful sleep anticipating my first encounter with Hemi-Sync technology.

  Morning came too quickly. Still tired from the long day in crowded airports and cramped jetliners, I bolted out of bed to prepare for the exciting day to come. Following breakfast and an orientation gathering, we all retired to our CHEC units for the inaugural session that would introduce us to the deep relaxation of what Robert Monroe referred to as Focus 10. This was a level of consciousness he described as “Mind Awake, Body Asleep.” After each session, we would meet in the conference room to debrief, compare notes, and share our experiences.

  Closing the black curtain, I crawled into the bed and pulled on the headphones. The sound of ocean surf soon lulled me into a quiet meditative state. Within a few minutes, the surf sound faded away and a new mixture of soft pure tones began to flow through the headphones. It was a fascinating progression. In a slow controlled vibrato, the sound seemed to move back and forth, from ear to ear. Heaviness collected in my eyes. Within moments it spread down through my body and into my legs and feet. Slowly but surely, the sounds carried me to the edge of sleep.

  It was a wonderful feeling. Calm and serene, I basked in the euphoria of relaxation for what seemed like 15 or 20 minutes. Much like the hypnagogic state one encounters when falling
asleep, a constant stream of dreamlike images flowed through my perception. Not focusing on anything in particular, I allowed my mind to roam freely. The sensation was exquisite, and I soon lost all sense of time or connection with my body.

  All of a sudden, I found myself jerking awake to the sound of Robert Monroe's voice calling us back to normal consciousness. Almost an hour had passed. To my great disappointment, I had fallen asleep. What had I missed? The trainers had warned us that this might happen. But even if we did fall asleep, they said, our subconscious would still receive the benefits of Hemi-Sync. Although they assured us it was nothing to worry about, I wasn't convinced. The long plane trip to Virginia was taking its toll.

  Most of my sessions during the first couple of days were similar. I often fell asleep and had little to report. But the energy of the place was starting to have its effect on me. Each day we were introduced to progressively more powerful Hemi-Sync signals. We moved from the “Mind Awake, Body Asleep” level of consciousness on to Focus 12, the state of “Expanded Awareness,” and finally to Focus 15, a level of consciousness beyond our concept of linear time.

  By the third day, I was nearly bouncing off the walls. The energy flowing through my body was so strong that a tingling vibration rippled from my thighs all the way up to the back of my neck. The high-pitched tone, normally only present while I was in an altered state, now seemed to be with me all the time. By late afternoon, as we headed to our rooms for another session, the sound in my ears had become so loud, I worried it might be distracting.

  After settling in to the relaxing Hemi-Sync tones, I could feel the changes slowly spreading through my body. At first, as my thoughts drifted, I began to lose all awareness of anything physical. But when I finally refocused my attention, I couldn't believe the amount of electrical activity playing through my muscles. I could feel my lower legs tense up and then slowly relax. The stiffness and tightness moved to my thighs, which also contracted and then relaxed. Soon, the lower half of my body began to feel heavy and immoveable.

  Floating ever closer to the borderland of sleep, as had happened so many times before, my consciousness began to click in and out. One moment I would be awake and alert, and the next I'd be snapping back to awareness, knowing only that I had somehow fallen asleep. It was from one of these unconscious voids that I suddenly clicked back into awareness, just as I was lifting off the bed, floating toward the ceiling. My excitement was almost uncontainable.

  As I approached the ceiling, I turned as usual to look down at my body. But this time there was something different—I didn't seem to be in control of what was happening. I kept on rising through the ceiling of my CHEC unit. Before I knew it, I was sailing right through the lower body of a participant in the unit above me. Startled, but only somewhat concerned, I floated up through the roof of the Institute.

  With every molecule buzzing, I began rising into the sky. One hundred feet, five hundred feet, a thousand feet, I quickly picked up speed, moving ever higher. Soon, watching the landscape shrink below me, I felt like a rocket blasting into space. This, I thought, must be what the Shuttle crews see as they leave the Earth.

  The Virginia landscape became a blur of green as I moved higher. To my right, the vast sweep of ocean blue came into view, and still I continued climbing. Within moments, the entire planet became visible as I hurtled into space. The sun took on a distinct brilliance I had never seen before. Moving ever faster, I continued on until the Earth itself appeared as a tiny blue ball. Finally, many thousands of miles into space, I slowed and came to a stop.

  The panorama was stunning. In every direction, I could see and feel the beauty of creation. A blanket of stars lay in every direction. It occurred to me how small and insignificant I was in the midst of this beautiful sea of creation, yet I knew I was a part of it all. Everything was intimately connected, and perhaps even the tiniest particle was no less important than the largest.

  For an indeterminate period of time, I floated quietly in space, absorbed in the beauty around me. Monroe was right. This level of consciousness, Focus 15, was unaffected by time.

  In my contented solitude, I became aware of a strange, distracting sound. It seemed to surround me, while at the same time resonate within me. Although I couldn't pinpoint the source, it appeared to be a deep, low frequency like the roaring of the wind or pounding ocean surf. Continuing to grow louder, I soon found it impossible to ignore. Concerned, I thought perhaps I should get back to my body.

  In one swift movement, only a flicker in time, I snapped back into my body in the CHEC unit. To my astonishment, I could still hear the sound, and it was even louder. Then the realization hit me. The sound was coming from me! It was my body, snoring!

  My mind completely awake, I lay in the darkness, amused and astonished at the power of this anomaly. I was listening to my own body snore as if it were someone else. There was no doubt about it. Our minds and bodies could certainly operate independently of each other.

  Moments later, Robert Monroe's voice was calling us back to end the session. Briefly, I entertained a strange notion. I wondered how I was going to awaken my body. With a mere thought, though, I coaxed my fingers to move, then my arms. Soon I was back in control.

  Taking off the headphones, I stretched out. The debriefing session would have to go on without me. I needed some additional time to process the significance of this latest experience.

  My flight into space had been profound. Almost too powerful, it had the effect of creating within me a high degree of performance anxiety. I became so determined to have another out-of-body experience that I'm sure I ruined the next few sessions by trying too hard. Rather than just relaxing and letting it happen, I kept trying to make it happen. I was defeating myself.

  By the last day of the seminar, I was so energized by the Hemi-Sync process, I was practically buzzing. We had been warned about this possibility and had been advised to do a grounding exercise. Running, swimming, hugging a tree—any of these activities would help to ground the energy and bring us down to Earth. Most of the participants paid serious attention to these suggestions. I, however, didn't want to. I loved being high on psychic energy. It wasn't until later, when I was finally back trying to manage in the business world, that I began to understand why grounding was a good thing.

  During the week, we had progressively made our way into deeper levels of consciousness. The final and deepest level of the “Gateway” seminar was Focus 21. Bob Monroe called it “The Bridge to the Other Side.” It was from this level of consciousness that one could access the spirit world, visit with angels and spirit guides, or even deceased relatives and loved ones. Although intrigued by the possibility, I didn't think I was ready for it. I wasn't sure I wanted anything to do with anyone who had died.

  As one of our last sessions got underway, I began to contemplate how I might integrate some of the new things I had learned into another meaningful experience. Offering my usual prayer for protection, I also asked to be given an experience that would most benefit me at this stage in my development. I sent the prayer out into the universe and trusted that all would go as intended. Then I relaxed and waited.

  As the Hemi-Sync frequencies carried me into deeper and deeper levels of consciousness, time seemed to drag. I was beginning to wonder if I would get any response, when a sudden, powerful surge in vibration swept through me. In the next instant, I almost leapt out of my skin. There at the foot of my bed, bathed in light, stood a blond-haired boy. It startled me so much I had to fight the urge to jump out of bed and turn on the lights. I saw him clearly. He appeared to be about 12 years old. His freckled face and sparkling blue eyes beamed with delight. I didn't know what to do. Who was he? Should I try to talk to him? Say, “Hi”?

  As I struggled to control my fear, an expression of understanding and compassion spread across his face. I was sure he knew my thoughts. As if in apology for frightening me, he smiled ever so gently, lowered his eyes, and in an instant he was gone.

  A heavy sadness
flooded through me. I couldn't get over the feeling that this young spirit had wanted to communicate with me, and I had let him down. Why hadn't I been able to deal with my fears? Perhaps he could have helped me. I wondered if I would ever see him again or find out who he was. Through the remainder of the session I repeatedly invited him back, but it was not to be.

  When the session ended, I sat quietly during the debriefing. I had been deeply affected. The image of the boy would not leave my mind. There was something hauntingly familiar about him and I couldn't shake the feeling I'd known him before. It felt like he could have been a part of me, a distant memory. I wanted to call him back, to tell him I was sorry.

  When the final session got underway, my consciousness dropped quickly as a persistent numbing sensation enveloped my legs. Ready for another adventure, I knew that I would shortly start to feel electrical spasms in my body. For a moment I seemed to fall asleep, but snapped back with the usual jolt. I had been startled yet again by the sound of my own snoring. This was amazing, as ordinarily I seldom snore. On rare occasions when it did happen, I would usually be immersed in a deep sleep.

  I began to think about the autonomic processes of the body and how complex and intricate our physiology is. How ridiculous the official accepted view of our reality had become. Our scientific community was still insisting that we, and all that we have become, were the result of a freak accident in which precise quantities and types of amino acids came together in primeval pond scum and evolution took care of the rest.

  How ignorant that was. At one time, I may have bought into such concepts because I wanted to deny the existence of a Creator. But even though I had preferred this left-brain linear view of the universe, deep inside, it didn't sit comfortably. I knew intuitively that there had to be something more. Now I was living and learning about this “something more.” Now I was experiencing firsthand the beauty and complexity of creation. I was beginning to understand the order in which everything existed.