Eyes of an Angel Page 20

  “No, it's quite all right,” I stammered. “It just caught me by surprise. It seems strange though. I don't know how to describe it, but it's like I can feel or sense your body in the same way as before. Even though you don't look the same, you still feel the same.”

  “The feeling that you're experiencing,” Meldor explained, “is due in part to your recognition of my vibration, as well as the imprint that my physical appearance has left in your mind. As we have discussed, the vibration of every soul is unique. It is our true and indisputable identity. You would know me even if I was here with only a small part of my energy.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked. “How could you be here with anything less than your total self? Are you saying that you can be in more than one place at a time?”

  “Aren't you?” I could sense Meldor grinning. “Aren't you here talking to me while your physical body is somewhere else?”

  “Jeez, I guess so. Good point,” I sheepishly conceded. “You would think I should have learned by now to take you at your word.”

  My curiosity had been piqued. I just had to ask. “So, right now, are you here with all your energy, or is part of you somewhere else too?”

  “Well, right at this moment, as you perceive time, the complete focus of my attention is with you. But there are often times when I am with you, and part of me is elsewhere.”

  “But, where would you go?” I asked. “You don't have a physical body to maintain in another place.”

  “That is true,” Meldor acknowledged. “But I do have responsibilities and commitments in other places. Often while I am in this plane, part of my energy is in another level, learning and studying. Besides my commitment to you, I help to train other souls to become guides, and I am also working with a wonderful group learning to control and transmute emotional energy. The work we do is very important in helping returning souls shed or transform some of the intense emotional baggage they often bring with them.”

  “That sounds like a lot of work,” I interjected. “I had no idea. Does everyone keep so busy in your level?”

  “No. But a great many are even more involved than I am. You must understand that there is no requirement or pressure on anyone to become involved. But everyone, at some point, happily donates their efforts and skills for the betterment of all.”

  As we chatted, I looked around, but there was absolutely nothing to see. I perceived only an endless, dark void. There was something foreboding about it. It seemed to exude an atmosphere of depression and negativity, and it was beginning to bother me. Increasingly curious, I finally asked, “Where on earth are we?”

  “Well, we're definitely not on Earth,” Meldor sighed. “We are in the void between the physical world and the astral realms. More correctly, this is actually part of the astral realm. It is the lowest vibration of the first spirit levels.”

  “But there's nothing here,” I observed, wondering why he had brought me to this place.

  “On the contrary,” Meldor corrected me. “There are, unfortunately, a great number of souls in this realm. They are cloistered here by their own actions and intentions. The souls in this territory have been severely affected by the negativity and despair they brought on themselves during their last incarnations. This is the result of guilt, along with self-imposed punishment and confinement. This is the level of consciousness closest to the human concept of Hell.”

  “So that's why I've been feeling so anxious,” I mused. “I don't like the vibrations. It's really quite uncomfortable, like something's eating away at me.”

  “Yes, I understand. Due to the tremendous emotional energy given off by the souls isolated here, the atmosphere in this realm can be very menacing.

  “As you know,” Meldor continued, “none of these souls are forced to be here. No one is preventing them from leaving. They have not been judged or punished by God or anyone else. The All manifests only love and compassion; it does not judge or punish.

  “You will remember from your recent experience of a life review, how you felt upon reliving the memory of some of the uncomfortable moments. All of your actions and thoughts were clear and transparent. Nothing was hidden or shielded. No one had to tell you what was negative or positive. You knew and judged yourself accordingly. Suppose that during your life you had committed seemingly vile, unforgivable acts; you would certainly feel the intensity of the impact you had on others. Depending on your mental state and level of consciousness, you may become so despondent and distressed that you might put yourself into a deep state of tormented contemplation and self-review. This is the state of the souls in this level. They have closed themselves off from everything while they deal with the internalized misery they have inflicted on themselves and others.”

  “But they do eventually get out, don't they?” I asked.

  “Oh yes,” Meldor replied. “With the assistance of loving spirits, eventually all of them are brought along through the reorientation process.

  “The cycle of numerous incarnations can be very difficult, and most souls, through one life or another, will spend some time in this state. As we have discussed before, the development of each and every soul is of great importance to the rest, and we all want to help. All are loved and nurtured through the many levels, until they reach the goal of God-Realization.”

  Perhaps it was due to concerns with my own ego, and I wasn't so sure if I really wanted to know, but I just had to ask, “Have I spent any time here?”

  “More than once,” Meldor laughed. “So you see, there is certainly hope for everyone.”

  I tried to laugh along with him, but I couldn't hide the disappointment in myself. My all-too-human ego was a bit bruised. I began to wonder what kind of despair and confusion it would take to close oneself off so completely. I wondered what I could have done to put myself into a self-imposed Hell.

  Meldor broke into my thoughts. “But there is another reason I brought you here. There is something special I want you to experience and remember. There are some very powerful light-beings that have attained the ultimate goal of God-Realization. Although immersed in the massive consciousness of The All, they continue to dedicate their existence to serving humanity. Their knowledge and awareness is virtually incomprehensible to any entity that is not itself God-Realized. Truly they embody the greatest love of all, giving freely of their love and compassion. They are perfected souls, the greatest manifestations of God.

  “These special light-beings are able to manifest on any level at any time, or indeed on all levels at the same time if that is their desire.

  However, it is to the souls in this lower vibration that they dedicate much of their energy. The radiation of their love is so immense that often it is the only power that can penetrate the cloistered consciousness of these tormented souls. It is here that these marvelous deities perform their greatest service. And it is this power that you are about to experience.”

  Not knowing what to expect, I was becoming more anxious with each passing moment. Meldor had used the word “deities,” and called them “the greatest manifestations of God.” What would their energy be like? Who was I to be experiencing a manifestation of God?

  Sensing my growing anxiety, Meldor reassured me, “There's no reason to be concerned. I'm sure you will find the experience very enlightening.”

  Silently we waited in the darkness. After two or three minutes passed with agonizing apprehension, I began to feel a warm tingling sensation in the center of my chest. Ever so slowly the sensation grew stronger and stronger until every particle of my being was vibrating with overwhelming emotion. And then it appeared—a blinding white light, radiating energy from its center, growing in intensity as it approached. I could not even begin to grasp the size or magnitude of this light-being as it moved slowly by. My sense of relative space seemed inadequate and delusional. My perception reaching overload, I closed my eyes.

  To this day I struggle to describe the feelings and emotions that permeated my being. My words seem frustratingly inadeq
uate.

  Eyes closed, my consciousness was flooded with a wonderful feeling of tenderness and love. All tension and uncertainty drifted away, leaving me with a peaceful, undisturbed clarity of mind. It seemed as if I had been reduced to a state of childlike trust and wonder. It was simply blissful. Loved and accepted, I wanted nothing more than to become one with this vibration.

  As I floated in euphoria, a sudden surge of vibration forced me to open my eyes. To my astonishment, the likeness of Jesus Christ materialized before me. Obviously choosing to appear in a form I would recognize, he looked every bit like the painting of Christ my mother kept on a kitchen wall when I was a child. Manifesting as a most wonderful, kind looking man in his thirties, he had a light brown beard and shoulder-length hair. His eyes beaming the very essence of love, he quietly smiled in acknowledgment, and then faded into the darkness. As quickly as that, it was over.

  “A powerful presence, don't you think?” Meldor's voice cut the silence.

  “Wow!” I exclaimed. “That was incredible!” I could think of nothing else to say. It would take a few minutes to center my thoughts.

  “As you can see,” Meldor continued, “the energy of a perfected light-being is awesome to behold. Because of their pervasive power, these deities are able to break through to the despondent consciousness of the souls in this realm when they are finally ready for healing.”

  As Meldor spoke, I wondered if other beings of the stature of Christ visited this plane.

  “Yes, most certainly,” Meldor answered. “Having been raised in the Christian faith, you are naturally more familiar with the Christ Consciousness. There are, however, many other perfected light-beings that assist the souls in this level. Due to their perceived affiliation with major Earth religions, the better-known deities and masters such as Muhammad, the Buddha, Krishna, and Christ undoubtedly spend more time in this realm.

  “These perfected souls continue to be guiding lights as they were during their Earthly incarnations. Considering the awesome power and awareness they possess, it was with great sacrifice and love that they voluntarily reincarnated into the gross vibration of the physical form, entirely for the benefit of humanity. Even though man has misconstrued their messages into differing religious dogmas, these Masters are one and the same in The All. As I have said before, they are the highest manifestation of God.”

  “But some of these other weird religions can't be right?” I reasoned. It was an old thought, a relic from my past, but ever so fleetingly, it surfaced in my consciousness. Meldor picked up on it immediately, and although I felt a bit foolish for even thinking such a thing, later I was glad that I had.

  “The answer to your question is a paradox,” he said. “They are all correct and yet none are correct. All of the major religions are correct in that they teach about the love of God in all things, but their individual dogmas are the construct of human minds and have little significance to God.

  “God is not Catholic or Muslim or Hindu. Nor is God associated with any other man-made belief system. Within The All there is only one universal precept, and that is love. God commands nothing, but only gives and asks for love. If this one universal principle were adhered to, all the “shaft nots” of man-made religions would be rendered redundant. Any soul seeking the perfection of God-Realization needs only to perfect its love through every expression and manifestation. As you know, from the perception of an incarnate, this may sound simple in theory, but in practice it is not.”

  “No kidding!” I was wrapped up in Meldor's observations. Everything was beginning to make a lot more sense. Even for those souls trapped in their own self-imposed Hell, there was hope. I knew that there was no place anywhere where God did not exist.

  Meldor interrupted my thoughts. “The time has come to return to your body. The negative vibrations of this realm can have a disturbing effect on one's vitality. You may need to restore the balance of your energy. As always, it is a pleasure to assist you on your journey. Until we meet again, remember, my love for you is eternal.”

  With those last words echoing in my mind, I felt a sudden swirling motion, my consciousness faded, and a moment later I was restored to my body.

  After working a small kink out of my neck, I propped up a couple of pillows and settled into a light meditation. I certainly had a lot to think about. Contemplating how enlightening the experience had been, I chuckled to myself. The irony of it all. An enlightening experience—I had literally been to Hell and back. And apparently it wasn't the first time.

  Considering the task it would be to reach the point of spiritual perfection, I thought about my continuing struggle to overcome my own intolerance and impatience with others. Could I ever hope to love without condition and expectation? Could I learn to love and accept others for who and what they were? Perhaps more importantly, could I learn to love and accept myself for who and what I was? It sure seemed like an awfully long road ahead.

  This particular Saturday morning experience has always remained a special memory for me. I am unable to recall it without strong emotion and nostalgia. Not only because of the lessons learned or the experience with the Christ Consciousness, but more significantly, because it turned out to be the last conscious meeting I would have with my cherished guide, Meldor. Although it marked the climax of an important phase in my journey of self-discovery, it also established a solid base to prepare me for what was still to come.

  12

  Removing Walls

  But in angel eyes love grows complete

  While strong hands tremble in defeat

  The truth of God is soon revealed

  It's through our hearts that we are healed

  Sometimes there doesn't seem to be enough time to stop and smell the roses. There's always another deadline, another commitment, another fire to put out. Regardless of all good intentions, for me, life's busy wheels kept on turning.

  Maintaining two jobs, raising a family, and trying to stay ahead of the game, my life became increasingly convoluted and demanding. Working 12- and 14-hour days, the weeks and months rolled by in numbing succession. Each day, I was drawn deeper into the dense vibrations of the physical world and further away from the spiritual yearnings of my heart.

  While at one time, hardly a day would go by without some contact with my guides, my connections to the spirit world had all but vanished. When I did find time to attempt out-of-body travel or contact with Meldor, I often fell asleep. Or, after hours of staring into the darkness, I would give up in frustration. Eventually, I quit trying.

  After nearly two years with precious little spiritual activity, I was beginning to feel a great void in my life. I missed the wonderful excitement and connectedness I had once cherished. I'd read somewhere that our guides can change at different stages of our lives. I wondered if Meldor had perhaps moved on and been replaced by new guides whose vibration I couldn't perceive. In my more despondent moments, I wondered if I had been left entirely on my own. Although my physical life had never been more active, I had never felt more lost and abandoned.

  I could not shake the loneliness. More often than not, before going to bed at night, I would end up in the quiet of my backyard, absorbed in the beauty of the star-studded prairie skies. Often, tears would fill my eyes as I struggled to stem the flood of emotions that threatened to overcome me. My heart was breaking, and I didn't know why.

  I needed to get away from the rat race to recharge my energy and restore my soul. The best place for this was The Monroe Institute. It was the only place that could provide the peace and relaxation I needed to reconnect. Hoping to get into the first available “Guidelines Program,” I called the Institute in the spring of 1999. To my disappointment, I was told that there were no seminars available until mid-July. Although longer than I thought I could possibly wait, I eagerly grabbed one of the last openings.

  Waiting was difficult. The stress of my spiritually barren existence was becoming unbearable, but the day finally came. For me, there couldn't have been a more wel
come feeling in the world than when I arrived at the front doors of the Institute. Stepping through the threshold, I could feel a great weight lifting from my soul. The anticipation was thrilling. But even in my wildest dreams, I could not have imagined what lay in store for me during the coming week.

  After stowing my luggage, I headed off to the dining hall where most of the participants were gathering. Scanning for familiar faces, I didn't see anyone I knew. I was, however, struck by the presence of an attractive, blond-haired woman sitting at one of the tables. From across the room, I watched her for a few moments. I didn't know what it was, but there was something about her that seemed hauntingly familiar. Deciding that she probably just reminded me of someone else, I shrugged off the notion, and moved on to meet some of the others.

  Later that evening we all met in the lecture hall for formal introductions and the usual preliminary briefing. To facilitate breaking the ice, the trainers decided to partner each of us with another participant. Each person would interview the other, learning all they could about their background before introducing their new friend to the group.

  I thought this novel idea might be fun. When we were told to select a partner, I was about to turn in my chair to check out the people milling around, when from behind me came a cheery female voice. “Hi! Can I be your partner?”

  Turning, I found myself face-to-face with the pretty lady I had noticed in the dining room. “Hi. I'm Patricia. Can I be your partner?” she softly repeated, extending her hand to greet me.

  “Hi, I'm Paul.” I stood quickly, returning her smile as I reached out to shake her hand. “It would be my pleasure.”

  Our hands touched and, as I looked into her eyes, I'm sure my heart skipped a beat. In an instant, I was rocked by an electrical vibration that swept from her hand into my body like a wave of warm water. As our eyes met, it was as if some powerful energy had reached deep into my chest and squeezed my heart. It took my breath away. My knees suddenly weak, I dizzily returned to my chair.